The Balancing Act of a Single 29-year-old

“Its ok. Kalau takde jodoh, ape nak buat…” Those were the words that came out of my mom when I mentioned about me not marrying at all. I was quite stern and thought I could scare her off and let her be worried for me….BUT no… she was so cool about it.
Hmmm. Maybe I should panic. Like now.

In Asian societies (ok, maybe I can only speak for Malaysia); I find that when you’re at the end of the twenty-something spectrum, people tend to think about getting married. Unlike our Western counterparts, if you’re not married by the time you’re thirty-something…you’re either gay or there’s something seriously wrong with you mentally.  


When I uttered the above-mentioned words to my mother, that was two years ago. Well, two years have passed and I’m still single and shall I say fabulous too?


I don’t really have a problem with being single at this age but I do feel like my life is routine. Like I’m a robot. Just going through the motions in between and nothing seems exciting. Sometimes I feel happy about being single, sometimes confused…

You see, basically all my friends are married and some of them have kids. I get paranoid sometimes – “nobody wants me?” And it gets pretty lonely, especially at night. Why is that? Why not during the day? I’ll find that my friends have cooking or DVD nights with a guy and blah blah blah and sometimes I wish I could have that too. Then I’ll snap out of it and say “Whatever…I could go out with whoever I want, be wherever I want…I can stay back at work and work my ass off”…without being annoyed by someone who wants me to spend quality time with him.
I also don’t want to be fake by being in a relationship where I’m not really interested in him but I’m with him just because of…[so many excuses].


Do we really need a man? Yes and no. It’s all about finding the right balance perhaps.
Yes, the feminist will not agree with me but I feel it is nice to have a man around – somehow it makes me feel secure. His rough hands holding on to yours. Knowing someone is there that you could extend your love to and know that you are loved back unconditionally. A space in your heart you could snuggle up to no matter what the weather is. A lover and a friend…
On the other hand, you could feel complete with having family and friends around you and not think about the "amorous" kind of love.

Feeling confused? You’re not the only one. At this point of time, being 29 and single, it is best to just be thankful and grateful for all the things you already have...a career, family members...a cat. Don’t think about what you don’t have.

"Caress your sad case self BUT 
celebrate your NOW self forever"

Have an open heart, be careful, always have positive thoughts and find that balance.

Or maybe just get good shoes. Louboutins would be nice.





By : SZA